Some info found while looking to make bookings

Whilst “surfing the bookings for the trip we came across some “interesting” statements:  🙂

 

Getting There:
Our representative will make you wait at the airport.. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend. The manager  will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with  all new guests.

The hotel:
This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course  are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in  the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the  bar and expose themselves to others. But please note that ladies are not  allowed to have babies in the bar. We organize social games, so no guest is  ever left alone to play with them self.

The  Restaurant:
Our menus have been carefully chosen to be  ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to  table, and fiddle with you.

Your Room:
Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In  winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of  outstanding obscenity! . You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the  road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts.

Bed
Your bed has been made in  accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for  the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to  squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze  your trousers.

Above all:
When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no  hope. You will struggle to forget  it.”

 

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